And now for something completely different...

This is an entry I found in an old journal. It's about love and relationships and a general philosophy surrounding life. I'll let it speak for itself:

If I were a tree you'd be the rain pouring down my leaves. I'd hang heavy from the weight of your cold, thunderous droplets and turn myself from the wind made that much more unbearable by your chilling touch. You would roll over me with such force as to tear leaves from my brittle, knobby stems and send them plummeting to the earth, useless and laughing as they fell. But your form of harshness, of cold and ravaging power would pass. And you would become the liquid that filled my roots and trunk and branches and blooming stems.

You would be the catalyst for my growth.

And in that you would never leave me, but become a part of me. A part of me that winced when the wind blew and the clouds rolled overhead. That shivered when the morning dew condensed upon my leaves in respect of your memory. But that was eternally grateful for what you gave in your moment of ferocity and grandeur and the path it led me to.

If I were a tree and you were the rain.

Reflections, Ideas

These are some of my thoughts in certain areas. They reflect incomplete and continuing thought and research on the subjects and are in no way my definitive opinions, only a glimpse at my current beliefs. As Kahlil Gibran says in The Prophet, "For self is a sea boundless and measureless. Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.'"

Giving and Money

We live in a society where the act of giving seems to be contained within certain holidays. We see giving illustrated as a good deed during Thanksgiving and Christmas in the United States. These are occasions that we prepare for, that we look forward to every year. We give to our family members, to our friends, to those within our circle of acceptance.

There are different kinds of giving though, and these differences are what make the things we give important. When you give someone cash, you aren't just giving them money to spend on anything that interests them, you're giving them a piece of your life. Every transfer of money or goods is the transfer of that time spent earning it. If I were to make ten dollars an hour at my job, and give you twenty dollars, I would be giving you two (not accounting for time not working...) general hours of my life. These are hours that I did not sit down in dedication to you specifically, but rather are hours from the bank of hours in my life that you may have. However when one creates something for an individual, though it may cost little, the time they put into the thought and creation of that good or service is direct time spent for that person. This time is invaluable in my opinion. It shows that on top of the time I'm willing to spend with you in person, I spend part of my life thinking of you for no other reason than that you mean something more than our day to day lives show. I agree with Gibran when he says "you give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give."

Let me take a moment to expand on the concept of money as a form of time. If we take for granted this concept that money is equivalent to a certain amount of time spent earning it, then spending that money takes on another meaning. When you go to McDonalds, you aren't getting a hamburger for a just dollar, you're trading a segment of your life and your hard work for it. When you go to Wal-Mart you are being enticed to spend small segments of your life. You are being nickel-and-dimed to death by products you don't need. We create false need through the comforts of our lives, things that resemble need very closely yet aren't. Because of these false needs we work harder and for longer to satisfy ourselves. We trade life for trinkets and watch hours that could have gone towards the growth of a cause fade with rust and dust and decomposition. We could have spent those hours fighting for a cause or building a movement or discovering something or creating beauty. Instead we spend them on material objects that simply de-value in time. They say buying a car is one of the worst investments you can make. The second you drive it off the lot it begins to devalue at an astonishing rate. I say that nearly all material objects (save art and books and music etc.) are a poor investment, they all deteriorate in time. Giving of yourself however, that is something that grows with time. That is something that makes a lasting impact. Spending 5 hours with an underprivileged youth every week is an investment that can create a more stable and loving person. And the world can use all the loving people it can get.

-J

P.S. If this doesn't make any sense that's cool, it was kind of a stream-of-thought kind of thing more than a specific topic. I'd still like to know what you think though! Comments, questions, disagreements?

Thoughts concerning life after Americorps...

Over the past couple of months I have been thinking hard about my options after Americorps NCCC. Many ideas have come through my mind and I have had a hard time deciding. I have run through all of the following as possibilities:

Graduate School - Focusing on a major that deals with one of the following subject areas: Public Policy, International Affairs, Non-Profit Operations, Community Development, etc.

Portland, Oregon - A progressive city that focuses on environmental awareness as well as other things I am interested in. I have only heard good things about it and I believe it would be a good place to find a job with a non-profit or other organization.

Peace Corps - A chance to live with the people I've been reading about in the books I've been reading. A chance to understand the daily struggle of individuals in 3rd world countries and get experience with ways to improve their lives. Get real experience as a leader of a community to help develop and educate those with less opportunity. My main reservation is the 27 month commitment away from friends and family and everything I'm familiar with.

Being a transient bum - Always the "or I could..." at the end of a long research session on one of the above mentioned choices.

I could, and I'm thinking of this right now as I type, feasibly take a year after Americorps and study for the GRE while working at home and becoming fluent in Spanish, then get into graduate school at Marquette and have it paid for through their fellowship and get a degree in International Affairs, Political Science, or some other related field. Then during that apply for the Peace Corps and spend two years implementing what I learned in graduate school and Americorps. With that plan I would have a B.A. in Mass Communication, a M.A. in something related to community service or international affairs, a year of state-side Americorps NCCC experience and two years of international service from Peace Corps, as well as Spanish as a secondary language (and perhaps another if I'm sent somewhere that speaks another language by the Peace Corps). I would be able to get life experience in a lot of different areas, from undergraduate life to U.S. service life to graduate life to international service. Also I'd get some time in between Americorps and graduate school to reflect and prepare for everything... Hmmm...

Well, if you've read this entire thing and haven't moved on to watching videos of people getting beaned in the crotch yet, I apologize. I didn't intend to let you in on my internal ramblings, but, there you go!

-J

NEW PROJECT! And the rest...

In the past few weeks much has happened:

We commuted daily to our project on another campsite where we played a hilarious game called "pick-up sticks" in which we picked up sticks, and set them down in a neat pile. It would have been even more fun if it had been for longer than 8 hours a day for a week on 30 acres of clear-cut land! However our fun was cut short when we were given the task of "planting" trees, a foreign concept for many of our team members. We ended up shoving over 5,000 of the little bastards into the ground and in a turn-around that would make the Lord chuckle (God, if you weren't aware, is a HUGE fan of irony as a form of humor) have spent this week chopping their elders down. Such are the ways of nature.

Another fun and exciting event involved our Unit Leader Ben "The Hawk" Richey arriving for a little visit. It was a time filled with dinner, talking, sleeping, talking, waking, talking and generally conversing about the nature of Ben Richey's detailed auto-biographical discussions of his early childhood. I use 'discussions' quite loosely if you can't or won't pick up on my sarcasm.

I have been to Seattle a few times now, and it never fails to provide a new adventure. The stories from that place will be with me forever. That's a fact darnit, they'll be with me and me alone, so don't ask about them!

Finally, the newest and most important development in the world of Joey: Future SPIKE knowledge!

I will be spending the next TWO spikes in and around the Plumas National Forest working with the National Parks Service. We will be active firefighters and first responders, and will work and live within the parks during our time there. I don't know much else, but I'll be sure to relay information as I recieve it. We will hopefully weather permitting be on a few prescribed burns, and hopefully some active fires. We will be with this project for the rest of Americorps, which should be a good and bad thing at the same time.

That is all! Thank's for checking in kids, check you next time...

-J