Hello all. I have been remiss in updating this (yet again) because I am both very busy and very tired on a regular basis. Also, typing things is boring and I have many books to read. I apologize, but here's a post so get excited.
I'm now pretty much a chainsaw professional. After two days in a classroom learning about them and a day in the field cutting down bushes (trees tomorrow) the federal government is finally cool with letting me chop on stuff. I can now:
Cut down big ass trees (in theory)
Cut down small ass trees (in practice)
Cut down bushes (in all likelihood)
Cut things that are already on the ground (harder than it sounds)
NOT cut my legs (again, in theory)
Repair a busted chain
Sharpen a chain
Perform maintenence on a chainsaw
Start a chainsaw
Turn off a chainsaw
Yeah that's pretty much it. It sounds impressive but it mostly consists of, "put the chain break on all the time when you're not chopping stuff" and "don't cut rocks or the dirt." What I have realized however is that big ass 450 cc chainsaws are quite heavy and the blade is about 2/3 my height. Also, you hold all the weight with your left arm, leading sawyers (the guy with the chainsaw on the fireline) to get bizzarre huge left arms and small right ones like the guy from "Lady in the Water".
On another note I bought a nice Fender acoustic guitar this past weekend so I wouldn't have to go without music and so that I could learn to play while I'm here. Figured it'd be a good skill to have, as playing the piano to pick up the ladies only works when there's a piano present. Plus it'd be good for team morale or something, I don't know. Send me your song suggestions in the form of a comment and I might learn it and play it when I end up seeing you next. Or just give me some good songs to learn that aren't "Wonderwall" or "Hey There Delilah" or other "I want to get laid with the least amount of work possible" songs. Thanks!
-J
P.S. The zoo was fun last week too.
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Guitar huh? sounds like a good idea, I'll be thinking of non corny songs for you! Congrats with the chainsaw abilities! That would be helpful right now half a tree is on the roof of my house from this ice storm! Hope your enjoying the better weather!
ReplyDeleteLets keep the "not cutting your leg off" to fatual and not just theoretical, although if it does happen the guitar abilities will definitly be a plus!
-Summer
Excellent, I'm proud of your ability to learn how to cut things. This skill will carry with you for the rest of your life, providing useful benefits for years and years to come. On the other hand, now that you'll be wielding a 3'6" chainsaw around, everyone will assume you are massively overcompensating. This will force you to drop your pants for random strangers frequently, proving to them that you actually use the chainsaw, and that it is not just a distraction from your penis.
ReplyDeleteMaybe once you learn how to use the real guitar, we can have a real guitar/fake guitar rock-off.
-Kevin